Nov 28th 2012
Dear you, Whoever you are, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing.
I want to let you know that I’ve become the Who, I am without the What, you are and have learned the Why’s I needed to know without the questions of how, from you.
I want you to know that the razor bumps on my face irritates because I never got the lesson on how to properly shave, never got the wise words “Go with the grain, in one direction” from you.
And the Windsor knot I taught myself isn’t perfect, a little too tight, one side is always a bit longer and the front ends up being shorter, things I had to learn without you.
The first time I tied a tie was one of the few times I thought of having a father.
Thought about the valuable lessons I would’ve learned, thought about the things you might of said:
“Be confident when you speak When give your word, keep it Showing your emotions doesn’t make you weak Walk with your head up high, you’re proud, you’re strong believe it. Treat a woman with respect and she’ll treat you like a King”
Instead I tell these things to myself while I try to play son and father
I never bothered to know the story between you and my mother
Cause here I was playing father because in my mind you couldn’t bother.
And I’ve been searching for your shadow to find shade in.
How can I be anything but a puzzle when all I’ve got are missing pieces, and you’ve become too many of them.
- Jason R. Johnson