MAYBE, by Jason Johnson

I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then. 

We grow, we change it's inevitable nature teaches us that.  There is no pause in time, but sometimes life gives us second chances. 

Second chance to say sorry, to love, to take a risk, to admit our flaws and work on a better version of ourselves. 

Maybe you've changed by taking these chances 

" " by Jason Johnson

“If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.”

 

Charles Bukowski

PASSED REGRETS & ANXIOUS FUTURES by Jason Johnson

Life isn't always what it seems, that statement is much truer these days. 

I always ask myself when is too late too late? I feel like I should have most, if not all of the basics figured out by now. As foolish as it sounds, I'm still trying to apply current knowledge to the old me.

I'm trying to find my path and where I truly fit in. I told a friend I still feel lost and i'm trying to find where I need to be. I'm not entirely sure where 'where' is and why I need to be there, but It's a thought that often plague my mind. I was reassured by all of the accomplishments of tangible things, things that don't touch my soul, things that haven't necessarily given me the opportunity to improve on another's life. 

I'm private with my life because I still believe some things should possess an air of mystery. I still believe in keeping things sacred and only letting people in that have proven over time that they are worth it. I think in the process I’ve alienated myself and locked a few people out that could've been worth it. Its easy to walk away from things / people when you've become accustomed to doing so.

INTERLUDE by Jason Johnson

ONTHEGARDINER

These days I've lost all lust for the discovery phase 

I asked her 'what will you do when all that beauty fades?'

When your beauty fades

Your character stays. 

I've been looking for some substance

I hope it's you.

I've been Jaded.. I hope it fades, girl I hope it fades 

Honest Feelings, Bad Timing. by Jason Johnson

Echoing thoughts 

Silence between us

And gravity never felt heavier, 

I said words that cracked the silence like lightning 

and crashed into some of hers

She never spoke after,

Well not full sentences, slight words

Perfection like sleep always seems to elude me

We stayed up,

We stood still, with echoing thoughts in our mind of what we should've said. 

The lines on her face narrates, 

How are you going to lose interest when I just got used to you? 

How are you going to lose interest when I just got used to you.

How are you going to lose interest when I just got used to you...